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I don't know you
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16,611 Posts
personal statements are the fucking worst. its such bullshit. i cant even remember what mine was about, but its gay that you have to play along. motherfucker at 17 in the suburbs i had no lifechanging experiences.
 

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Regulator
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23,483 Posts
I had a life changing experience. I was puzzled the first day of school. Should I wear the red shirt, maybe the blue one? Should I wear jeans, or should I wear shorts? Should I go commando, or wear boxer briefs. I was in a predicament. But I prevailed. I wore jeans and a white shirt. I learned much that day.
 

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oh hai
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3,322 Posts
Discussion Starter #47
Sign #1 that college may not be for you. "Uhh, like, I can't think of an essay topic."
i don't agree with that at all. i think it's extremely rare for a 17 year old to be able to sit down and write an essay that could easily be the deciding factor of whether or not they are accepted into a college without some uncertainty regarding the topic of choice.

motherfucker at 17 in the suburbs i had no lifechanging experiences.
that about sums it up.
 

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I don't know you
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16,611 Posts
just write about something you are passionate about, but not something dumb like cars. it doesnt HAVE to be a lifechanging story. it's a personal statement, just tell them about yourself.
 

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Beware the Eggplant
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16,632 Posts
TS, don't take blackandred too seriously. He lives in Sweden, and wears makeup.
 

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22 Posts
that is YOUR history, that is who you are, that is what made you the person you are today; what greater topic can you write, and what topic do you know more about, than that of yourself? yes, your direct reactions can affect HOW you write it, but the gist will always be the same.

you have all the raw materials for the great american novel there; character flaws, lonliness/isolation and not understanding, and yet your character overcomes these limitations, deals with them, and learns to accept them, your only catch there is a finalized summation of what you define yourself as and how you want to be from that point on. the lives we all live are the greatest stories we ever tell or hear.
brilliant post.


it doesnt matter what you write about. as long as it makes you stand out. good luck with the essay and getting in.
 

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2,375 Posts
for the common app I used the topic about the influential person and got in quite a few schools with that. But then again, I did apply to like 14 :D

Good luck with them, and GJ for starting early
 

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oh hai
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3,322 Posts
Discussion Starter #53
update: got a rough draft done. it's missing a concluding paragraph, which i'm not yet sure how to construct. so any advice on that would be helpful, as would any comments, tips, suggestions on what is completed:

“I’m going to be moving out next week,” my father muttered in a melancholy voice I’ve never heard before. “I’d like it if you could help me move some of my stuff out,” he told me, staring out the windshield as we drove to go eat lunch. His words were not nearly as emphatic as they normally were; it seemed as though they were crawling out of his mouth. I already knew that he was moving out, but since he was always so isolated from me and the rest of my family, he wouldn’t have had the slightest idea. Now, the separation of my parents wasn’t a bad experience, but rather an adjustment, a shift. It was the end of one era and the beginning of another. It allowed me not only to live a better life materially, but to grow emotionally. In addition, it has enabled me to mature immensely and find out more about who I really am.

My relationship with my father never was a healthy one. Never did I hear, “Hey you wanna’ go outside and play catch?” Never did he teach me how to shave or tie a tie. But to not have a true father figure in your life, especially during adolescence, may possibly do more good than harm- that is, if you allow it to. I didn’t expect any of those things out of him, because I didn’t know that I should have expected them. It’s not too unusual though, that you don’t miss things you never have. That’s why as I realize now how minimal of a father he is, I am able to reflect and think positively. I can understand that his absence and lack of guidance has forced me to look for help, whenever I may need it, in others and in myself. I have, because of him, become a much more self-sufficient individual and have learned to rely on myself. Furthermore, because I tend to rely so much on myself, I am fully aware of my emotions. And while emotions remain uncontrollable, as they are for anybody, I can analyze them in ways that others may not be able to. In turn I can diffuse them, find their origin, and do whatever may be necessary in order to learn from them.

Reflecting on those events of the past will inevitably help me build and plan my future. Without a doubt, I sincerely hope to enjoy the pleasure of attending The College of New Jersey. I know that with the determination and sedulousness that is such an immense part of my character, I can succeed in my studies and go on, despite what may have happened in the past, to be a successful individual. While keeping in mind the shortcomings of my father and how he failed to complete his PhD due to his sheer lack of drive, I can use this as motivation to always work to the best of my ability and overcome any and all obstacles that may try to stop me.
 

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smokin since birf
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12,363 Posts
intro and first body paragraph look good. i would work a little more on that last paragraph though, i wish i could give you some tips right now, but im really way too high. to me, it see just seems like it would be better off as a concluding paragraph rather than a body paragraph. maybe add a body paragraph describing how you became more determined/sedulous through the lack of a father, as it isnt very clear in your current essay...
 

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baby buffett
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13,383 Posts
melancholy is a noun, melancholic is an adjective.

fail. next.
 

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Regulator
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23,483 Posts
Tell them your dad had a feeble mind and a stripper took advantage of him
 

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oh hai
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3,322 Posts
Discussion Starter #57
intro and first body paragraph look good. i would work a little more on that last paragraph though, i wish i could give you some tips right now, but im really way too high. to me, it see just seems like it would be better off as a concluding paragraph rather than a body paragraph. maybe add a body paragraph describing how you became more determined/sedulous through the lack of a father, as it isnt very clear in your current essay...
thanks. i'll keep working on it.

melancholy is a noun, melancholic is an adjective.

fail. next.
From Dictionary.com

"–adjective
4. affected with, characterized by, or showing melancholy; mournful; depressed: a melancholy mood. "

i do appreciate that you took the time to read it though. if you have any other constructive suggestions, i'd love to hear them.

Tell them your dad had a feeble mind and a stripper took advantage of him
you're a worthless idiot. if you have nothing good to say, why do you waste your time and mine and come in here and make stupid posts like that?
 

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Banned
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funny that crsx would be the place you'd choose for topic ideas. here goes:

1. the McRibwich and what it has done for the US's obesity epidemic.
2. the fact that clubep3.net has 13 mods and 5 regular members.
3. Costco and his up-to-par thread ideas.
4. why Milwaukee's Best is far superior to any other beer, yet is still only $12.99/30 pack at my local beermart.

personally, I'd write about this thread and the zany, off the wall comments from members such as myself.
 

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Regulator
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23,483 Posts
you're a worthless idiot. if you have nothing good to say, why do you waste your time and mine and come in here and make stupid posts like that?
Because I can?
 
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